Saturday, September 25, 2010

Hoops Cotter #44

Hoops Cotter knows when to use "who" and "whom".

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

Hoops Cotter #41

When Brett Favre was making his decision whether or not to retire, the first question he asked was, "Is Hoops Cotter playing this year?"

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Hoops Cotter #39

Women use rape whistles to summon Hoops Cotter

Hoops Cotter #38

Hoops Cotter was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame during the 7th inning stretch of his first game.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Hoops Cotter #37

Hoops Cotter wrote a book entitled, Thats It?, mocking the number of women that Wilt Chamberlin slept with.

Hoops Cotter #36

Jesus hangs a picture of Hoops Cotter on his wall.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Hoops Cotter #32

Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy was given to Hoops Cotter

Hoops Cotter #31

Hoops Cotter has earned both a Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor in every war in American history.

Hoops Cotter #30

Stuart Scott does not have a lazy eye. He just keeps one eye on a picture of Hoops Cotter for motivation

Hoops Cotter #29

Hoops Cotter holds Michael Vick-fights.

Hoops Cotter #28

Kanye West sat quietly and applauded while Hoops Cotter made his VMA acceptance speech.

Hoops Cotter #27

Commissioner Roger Goodell called Hoops Cotter in for a meeting for disciplinary reasons. When the two left the meeting, Goodell had a 6 game suspension.

Hoops Cotter #26

Hoops Cotter called Samuel L. Jackson a "motherfucker". Samuel responded by giving him a hug.

Hoops Cotter #25

Ed McMahon follows around Hoops Cotter just to follow up his jokes with a "hiyoooo".

Hoops Cotter #24

Hoops Cotter is a graduate of every College/University in America. He never attended a class at any of them.

Hoops Cotter #23

Hoops Cotter’s football team went 19-0, twice. The only player besides him, his penis.

Hoops Cotter #22

When Hoops Cotter has sex with a girl, she goes to the doctor the next day with a case of "punctured innards".

Hoops Cotter #21

The Sopranos series finale ended abruptly by fading to black because Hoops Cotter turned off his TV.

Hoops Cotter #20

Hoops Cotter puts his pants on two legs at a time.

Hoops Cotter #19

Hoops Cotter taught Cali Swag District how to "Dougie".

Hoops Cotter #18

Hoops Cotter pitched 5 perfect games in his MLB career, all while drunk and on LSD.

Hoops Cotter #17

Hoops Cotter has seen the edge of the universe.

Hoops Cotter #16

A car can run for 7 hours on Hoops Cotter's sperm.

Hoops Cotter #15

Hoops Cotter pisses 200 year-old single malt scotch.

Hoops Cotter #14

Hoops Cotter doesn't shave, he simply chooses not to grow facial hair.

Hoops Cotter #13

Hoops Cotter created a hit black sitcom without Tyler Perry.

Hoops Cotter #12

When Elin found out Tiger had sex with Hoops Cotter, she wanted to remarry him.

Hoops Cotter #11

Hoops Cotter's penis successfully performed Tommy John surgery on Stephen Strasburg's pitching elbow. Strasburg was fully recovered in 7 weeks.

Hoops Cotter #10

Hoops Cotter sleeps standing up. Even more impressive, he uses his penis as a kick stand.

Hoops Cotter #9

Hurricane Earl formed when Hoops Cotter sneezed.

Hoops Cotter #8

Hoops Cotter cured the STDs of the entire Jersey Shore cast.

Hoops Cotter #7

Hoops Cotter does more "smooshing" in a night than all 4 Jersey Shore guys do in a week

Hoops Cotter #6

Hoops Cotter made an adult film that won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1998

Hoops Cotter #5

Hoops Cotter can intentionally throw at Nyjer Morgan and Morgan simply thanks him.

Hoops Cotter #4

Hoops Cotter measures his penis by the yard.

Hoops Cotter #3

When Hoops Cotter puts on his Coors Light t-shirt, you know he's ready to party.

Hoops Cotter #2

Hoops Cotter won the Heisman Trophy all 4 years of his college career. He didn't play football.

Hoops Cotter #1

Legend has it Hoops Cotter impregnates women by staring at them.